In regards to my current ethical, moral breach, I've waited days to gather observational reach before speaking my truth:
It has been nearly 14 days since I left the United States to adventure through Europe. Within the days, I have found aspects and angles of myself, elevating my core life principle of philosophy, diplomacy, and understanding humanity from each angle. Each cobble-stoned alleyway, each palace of centuries past, art of each decade, and the modernization of humanity upon a different continent. Life is, in comparison, different in Europe than the United States. I was waiting for a train to The Netherlands at 3am when I read the articles about the Neo-Nazi march, with an American man sitting on a bench behind me. As I read the articles from Fox, Huffington Post, NBC, ABC I found myself at a loss for words: the greater populous of the United States has pulled itself into centrality, in fear of the uncertainty of raw hatred permeating our once, beautiful soil. black wedding selections with lace
They are not "white nationalists" they are not "people who just want to be heard" these are individuals who are stead-fast to racially cleanse America. As impossible as this endeavor may be, the very real frustration for them will continue to build and the outbursts of violence will continue. Did you enjoy your night? Did you walk with brash confidence, knowing you and your friends have nothing to fear? Are you able to taste a palette of cuisines? Are you able to speak your native tongue, dress in your cultural norm? Do you have the freedom to speak openly of your views without fear of violence, death, or brutality?
Good, that is your American right. My very real fear spotlights the polarity between you and I, and love and complacency cannot fix that. We are at an impasse in America, a racial tension that is threatening to burn us all to the ground, and we have witnessed this history enacted. I've walked on European soil in which it has existed, I've felt it, I've seen it. Truth be told, the aforementioned freedoms I asked you of are simply not diagonal to me. They were up until the very second I heard of the news.
I can't walk down the street at night and feel safe. I cannot speak to Mum over the phone in Indian anymore without blatant stares or gestures of negativity, I won't be able to wear my Indian garb to a wedding or prayer service, I am not being asked- I am being demanded to culturally assimilate for the sake of my own survival OR face the very real threat of brutality, violence, or even death simply for the one thing I cannot change amongst everything I can: the skin I wear.
Love may win all battles, and the love I have for my life, my culture, and my friends: POC [African American, Hispanic, Latinx, Muslim, Sikh] as well as the LGBTQ community and other oppressed factions will keep my soul fighting for equality. So, no: Although, I am blessed to have the capability unlike many others, I will NOT leave America because I fight for my right to social, judicial, and fiscal equality and have a base of fluency with each of my words that demand the attention of anyone listening. The only natural gift I was born with, the spoken and written word. I refuse to silence my absolute truth, my observation, my perspective due to the core of conversation: truth is to be spoken, even if it takes my last breath in order to do so.
I will stay so my fluency is heard all over the world. I will stay so my future children will never ask me where I was when our temples, culture, language, and right to exist were violently revoked by the same civilization. I will stay for the little boy in me who didn't know what racism was until 9/11, at the age of 8 years old and having someone call him a "sand nigger" and to "go back to Paki." I will stay to fight, I will stay to pour my heart, soul, and effort into removing this stain we have allowed in our society.
I know where I will be, on the front lines with my brothers and sisters. Where will you be? Beside me, behind me, or in front of me? Centrality and neutrality is understandable, the fear of political instability is a trauma none should endure, let alone in modern America, but this our reality. Don't invalidate it.